multiple paths to a dead end.

"There's more than one way to skin a cat."

And, yet - you hardly see all that much cat skinning going on anymore.

our changing lexicon I

Incom-pacitated - a state of immobility due to lack of funds.

Michael Scott calling...

Hans Jive

Film buff insider joke from another era:

Liberty shot first!

read the directions. After all, they are there to protect the manufacturer

Any time I utilize the convenience of a Healthy Choice, Lean Cusine or other variety of frozen mystery meat goodness on a plastic tray - no matter where I am, I always whip out my handy, pocket sized meat thermometer to verify it has cooked to a sufficient temperature, killing any intergalactic organisms which might be lurking within..... doesn't EVERYONE?

September hath 30

Our days are numbered*. 

Makes finding one of them on a calender that much more convenient.

*variation on theme: There are only so many hours in a day.
(Yes, 24 to be exact.)

me

I am so self absorbed I feel no obligation to complete a punch line.